Ibitunguranye bituma abagabo bamwe batakaza ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina

Mu gihe benshi bazi ko abagore ari bo bakunze guhura n’ikibazo cyo kubura ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, ubushakashatsi bushya bwerekanye ko n’abagabo batari bake bashobora guhura n’iki kibazo, ndetse rimwe na rimwe bakaba ari bo babanza kugira ikibazo cyo kubura ubushake.

Ubwo bushakashatsi bwakozwe n’impuguke zo muri Kaminuza ya Kentucky yo muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika, buyobowe na Dr. Kristen P. Mark, bwasesenguye ingingo 64 zakozwe guhera mu myaka ya 1950, zirebana n’imibanire y’abashakanye n’ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ibyavuye muri ubu bushakashatsi byagaragaje ko n’abagabo bashobora kubura ubushake ndetse n’imbaraga zo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, nubwo ibi bitavugwaho cyane.

Dr. Kristen P. Mark yagize ati: “Hari igihe abantu bafata nk’ukuri ko abagabo bahorana ubushake bwo gukora imibonano, nyamara ubushake bwabo bushobora kugabanuka kimwe n’ubw’abagore, bitewe n’impamvu zitandukanye.”

Impamvu zagaragajwe zirimo: stress, ibibazo by’ubuzima bwo mu mutwe, kwiheba, kumva ko batagifite ubushobozi bwo gusohoza inshingano zabo nk’abagabo, ibibazo by’imibanire, ndetse n’igitutu cyo kuba bagomba kuba ari bo bafata iya mbere mu gutegura no gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Ubushakashatsi bugaragaza kandi ko igihe cy’umunezero wa mbere w’urushako kirangira hagati y’amezi 18 na 24, aho ubushake n’ibyishimo ku bijyanye n’imibonano bigenda bigabanuka ku mpande zombi. Mu bushakashatsi bwakozwe mu 1994 na Kaminuza ya Chicago, byagaragaye ko 80% by’abashakanye bakora imibonano inshuro nke mu kwezi.

Nubwo abagore aribo basanzwe bavugwaho cyane kubura ubushake, ubushakashatsi buheruka bwagaragaje ko n’abagabo bahura n’iki kibazo mu rugero rungana, gusa benshi muri bo bagahitamo kutabivuga kuko baba batinya ko byatuma batakaza icyubahiro n’isura y’ubutware.

Dr. Michael A. Perelman, Umuyobozi wa porogaramu y’ubuzima bw’imyororokere muri Kaminuza ya Weill Cornell Medicine, avuga ko “abagabo benshi badashobora kwemera kujya mu gikorwa bumva batari buze gutsindamo, bityo bakahitamo kukirinda kugira ngo batitakariza icyizere imbere y’abo bashakanye.”

Impamvu z’uburwayi nka depression, umuvuduko w’amaraso, ndetse n’imiti ikoreshwa mu kubivura, nazo zagaragajwe nk’izishobora gutera ikibazo cyo kubura ubushake no kudakora neza imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Nubwo bimeze bityo, inzobere mu mibanire, Madamu Gurit Birnbaum wo muri Kaminuza ya Herzliya muri Israel, asobanura ko kutagira ubushake bushobora kuba uburyo umubiri ukoresha mu gutanga ubutumwa ko hari ikibazo mu mubano w’abashakanye. Gusa, ibi ntibivuze ko urugo ruhita rusenyuka. 

Abahanga bagira inama abashakanye kujya baganira ku bibazo byose, birimo n’iby’imibonano mpuzabitsina, mbere y’uko bigira ingaruka zikomeye ku mibanire yabo. Dr. Birnbaum ati: “Iyo hatabayeho kuganira ku bijyanye n’imibonano, urugo rushobora kuba nk’inzu yubatswe ku musenyi.”

Inama ku bashakanye:

§  Mujye muganira ku mibanire yanyu mubikore mu bwitonzi no mu bwubahane.

§  Mujye musohokana, musangire ibihe byiza n’ibikorwa byabashimishaga mbere

§  Niba ikibazo gikomeje, mwitabaze inzobere mu by’imibanire n’ubuzima bwo mu mutwe.

Nsengimana Donatien |Ijambo.net